Wednesday, March 31, 2004
I want to know why, why am I like this.
Is there a reason for me being who I am?
Am i going to make a difference in this world
Is anyone going to give a damn?
Will I ever find out,
find out why i was put on this earth
was it a gift or a punishment,
that day of my birth?
I have the need to be special
and that is what I most fear
That nobody would ever notice
if I would just disappear
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 3:43:00 PM
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Nights Of Silence
Those long nights
of dreaded silence.
The raw, burning scream
chafe at my throat
and heart.
Screams that come
out as whispers.
The anger and resentment
that has created the bitterness inside myself,
slowly dissolves
leaving a trail of hate that will never leave.
The worst isn't over
The ache now comes.
That incredible, overbearing sadness
that sufficates and chokes.
I lay silent
staring at the bare wall.
I act calm and collected.
Peaceful.
But inside my weary body,
I am drowning,
screaming for help.
The feeling of hopelessness washes over,
for my pleas are ignored.
My face wrinkles.
I feel old, tired, and used.
With a sigh,
I roll over onto my other side
and try to shove the pain.
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 3:30:00 PM
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Tuesday, March 30, 2004
"I Don't Wanna Know"
(feat. P. Diddy)
[P. Diddy - talking]
Hold up, let me answer my phone
Some bitch callin me about some bullshit probably
I'ma call you right back
I'm doin' this mixtape right now
Now back to what I was sayin
[Verse 1 - Mario Winans]
Somebody said they saw you
The person you were kissing wasn't me
And I would never ask you
I just kept it to myself
[Chorus - Mario Winans]
I don't wanna know
If your playin me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know
[Verse 2 - Mario Winans]
Oh baby
I think about it when I hold you
When lookin in your eyes, I can't believe
I don't need to know the truth
Baby keep it to yourself
[Chorus - Mario Winans]
I don't wanna know
If your playin me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know
[Break - Mario Winans]
Did he touch you better then me (touch you better then me)
Did he watch you fall asleep (watch you fall asleep)
Did you show him all those things that you used to do to me (do to me baby)
If your better off that way (better off that way)
Baby what I like to say (all that I can say)
Go on and do your thing and don't come back to me
(Stay away from me baby)
[Verse 3 - P. Diddy]
I don't wanna know where your whereabouts or how you movin
I know when you in the house or when you cruisin
It's been proven, my love you abusin
I can't understand, how a man got you choosin (yeah)
Undecided, I came and provided ma
My undivided, you came and denied it (why?)
Don't even try it, I know when you lyin (I know when you lyin)
Don't even do that, I know why you cryin (stop cryin)
I'm not applyin no pressure, just wanna let you know
That I don't wanna let you go (I don't wanna let you go)
And I don't wanna let you leave
Can't say I didn't let you breathe
Gave you extra cheese (c'mon), put you in the SUV
You wanted ice so I made you freeze
Made you hot like the West Indies (that's right)
Now it's time you invest in me
Cause if not then it's best you leave
Holla, yeah
[Chorus - Mario Winans]
I don't wanna know
If your playin me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know
If your playin me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know
If your playin me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can't take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don't let it show
Oh baby, I don't wanna know
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 7:13:00 PM
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Monday, March 29, 2004
I've come to realise that i am now in the position i was back then. Yeah..My heart is feeling the way it was months back..The pain i have endured back then for months is like back..Hitting me again...Hitting me hard..Haiz...Why do u have to take me back and put me in this state again sia? Why? I let you go and when i yearn for you to come back,i eventually hope that you wouldn't put me through this same shit again.. But why are you doing this to me again? Why are you making my history repeat? Why? Why are you doing this to me when i actually needed someone? I don't expect you to be there because of what we went through recently. Haiz...Why sia? What wrong have i done? Well,i know alot arh,but why wait till now then you do this to me? Why?????!!! Haiz....
Gugurnya Bunga Cinta
Izinkan aku sayang
Menyentuh perasaanmu
Biar gelora cinta semalam
Izinkan aku sayang
Merinduimu selalu
Biar bergetar nalurimu
Walau berkali kau membenci
Cintaku takkan hilang
Himpunkan semua kemaafan
Dengarlah oh!Rintihan
Chorus:
Andainya kau pergi
Gugurlah bunga cinta
Terpadam mentari yang menyinar....oh
Pulanglah oh! Sayang
Kan ku nanti penuh pasti
Rintihan kecundang
Untukmu oh! Sayang...
You used to send me this song. I used to take the song with full meanings,but i now find no reason to even listen to that song.. Cos basically the song carries no meanings already...Haiz... You can be angry at me for maki-ing your 'bf' tt nite. But wtf k? Be angry with me if u want and i wun blame you. It just hurts to see you cry becos of him. And he made you cry. Think i can keep quiet? Wth k... Haiz...
Why am i soo unlucky in this life?Why sia??Haiz..one after another thing happen..haiz...
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 11:59:00 AM
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Saturday, March 27, 2004
First and foremost a VERY HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY to you..So,ure finally 16 huh? Well,like i said yesterday,may all your dreams and wish come true and may god continue blessing you like how he has..He has shown you the right way,go with it..Dun make any turn aight? Stay happy by your loved ones and do cherish them before they are gone for good. God bless you. Secondly,i wanna say that i am sorry that i ain't gonna turn up for your party.I'm sure you'll have a great time there.Surrounded by the people whom you love. There are a few reasons behind my absence for your event... Find me if you wanna know what are the reasons.
Why is everyone in my family very unlucky?Haiz...My uncle broke his ribcage.. Like wtf sia...Haiz...First i lost my grandad, then i was about to lose myself,then my uncle broke his ribcage..Not to forget all those people that i have lost before my grandad. Am i gonna lose everyone? If so,i might as well just lose myself sia... It's hard for me to stabilise myself these days u knoe... Very very hard... First, this head of mine keeps hurting each time i try to recall things that have gone missing from my mind,then i oways get trouble to breathe causing my chest to really hurt...Haiz... Is this gonna be the end of me?Somebody PLEASE save me...Haiz.....
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 8:59:00 AM
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Friday, March 26, 2004
~**I never meant to do those things to you**~
Yesterday was quite an interesting day for me. QUITE...Yeah...First i was in school FORMALLY..had dinner at orchard hotel yesterday..Yeah..So,i had my coat with me in my bag,i didn't put it on or carry it around cos i'll look funny.Right before i enter the hotel i put it on.Thank god i have that cos it was sooo cold inside...Laughed like never laughed before.The hosts was damn funny mann...Really really funny...Nearly choked on my drink..It was free flow of drinks and i was going to the toilet and back over and over again...Haiz...Came home near 1.
Anyhow,yesterday on the way home,i was thinking..Thinking of wad to do with my life.. Why must things get so bad for me? Haiz... Apart from that,i was also thinking of the past..It's like i dunno...12 of March, somebody's mum sms-ed me and wished me good morning and had hoped that that day would be my best day and indeed it was..It's like a miracle u knoe...A great one.. But then it was only for that day..Now it's back to the old me...One who is always sad and confused about her own life..Hmm...Tts who i am and people eventually think that i am leading a great,perfect life.... Sorry,but i'm not perfect..Nobody is....I never was and never will be perfect....
For that someone,i duno wad to say to you already...What a short notice i got...Whatever happens, i just want you to know that i loved you once...Just know that...Your bdae will definitely be a memorable one...I'm sure it'll turn out that way..I'm sure you'll have a good time...Tell me,what do you think your chances are? What do you think? Anyhow, this is for you..
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 9:42:00 AM
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Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Finally i'm back..Things have been bad for me...Hit me real hard...
Actually i do not have the mood to blog...The mood isn't here yet...Things have been happening and i do not like it cos it happened too fast...
First i was stuck in hell for like 3 days? The food was like YUCKS..Not to discriminate them,but u people know what hospital food is like right? Then i was not able to attend my late grandad's funeral..How much worse can things get? It's so shocking hearing his death...Too shocking..Haiz...I dun wanna be weepeing again...So,i'll stop for now...
My teacher is like learning to use MSN...haha! Her computer got no msn then she used my zip disk to copy the file over to her computer...Lame right??Very-very lame...
For tt someone still waiting for my answer,i know i haven't answered u..I said a different thing..Well,duno wen i'll answer tt qn of yours....I'll see how lah...
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 3:51:00 PM
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Thursday, March 18, 2004
In the lab now...It's damn bored..Argh! Contacts torn again..Now i have to use my darn spectacles...
To that someone...I know u want me to treat u the same way i treat them...But i am soo sorry that i cannot treat you the same way...I know i know you longer,but i really cannot treat you the exact same way...I do not feel the way i did for them...The feelings i have for them is not the same tt i have for you..I am sorry...And i am also sorry that i cannot make the promise u asked me to...I really cannot promise you that i would not keep things from you..I am sorry...I can't do that...Like i said, i do not feel the same way for you.Sorry...
Anyhow,chatted to Fun few days back...Haha!Funny sia..Still can't believe about what you told me...Seriously..Like,u were attached back then and u like me..Like kelakar lah i hear..Haha!But nevertheless,the truth is all out right? So,now you know i usta like u and i know tt u usta like me..haha!Eh,no worries,noone you know has my link..No worries tau...Ahakz!~But still right..haha!Never mind..Should not brood over it.
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 6:53:00 PM
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Tuesday, March 16, 2004
~One with a lost love, is the one with a lost life~
In class now..Lesson's such a bore..Have to hand in tutorial,luckily i did SOME of it yesterday...Anyway,tomoro is due date for project 2 and i'm not even half way through..Screw up the whole thang yesterday..It was too confusing..Haha! Reached home late last night..Went to eat first arh...Haiz...
I have irritating people bugging me these few days and it irritates me sooo much... Malas sak nak layan orang-orang macam gni..But if i do not layan them, then aper plak dorg pk nanti..Eh,sal aku bebual bahasa melayu nie? Tukar balek...
Right...As i was saying...i dun wanna entertain these kinda ppl arh but i dun want them to go around thinking tt i hate them like some people...How can she even think that i hate her sia? No intentions of doing so also..Ask the people i know lah..Even if u hurt me so much, i won't go to the extent of hating you and showing my hatred to you...Tt is sooo not me ya know...
I may hate someone to the core but you people know i dun show it out right? I can curse the person upside down and all but u know i won't show it to the person rite?But why did tt gerl say such a thing to me? Did i offend her? Was it because i never payed much attention to her? Or was it because of tt other party?Please lah...Please....Haiz...What a life...This song at my blog is really saddening me to the core...ARGH!
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 11:00:00 AM
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Monday, March 15, 2004
I am feeling so not myself at the moment..What the hell is wrong with me? Fancy skipping classes..This always happens when it's a monday..Monday blues they call it.. So i ended up at the interchange as usual counting buses..Haha! Saw Rayyan and we started talking lah..Talking crap as usual...Sat,chill and all..Then he went off..Then there i was counting buses again and i saw her frens and her...Surprised tho..But nvm..Anyhow...got chased by 'anjing gler' just now..Really giler..hahaha!But me being so me escaped lah..Dun care abt the others..Not as though they're my frens sia...As a result now im having terrible migraine..Like wanna vomit sia,but trying to hold on..
Fatehah sms-ed me on Saturday..She's asking me to take part in the 103km round island run this friday...It starts at 11pm and ends on saturday..Dunno if i wanna take part..Fate,i'll give ya the answer soon yah?Sorry to keep ya waiting..
To babae..Eh,who isit tt dun want u to be happy?U tell me..Faster tell me...Abt the gift,worth a BOMB seh kena...Bomb pun bomb lah..But then,th pleasure is mine...The honour is also mine..Amcm? It's nothing lah..seriously..the phrase u asked me about on the bus still applies ok..it still does...so,it's nothing...Eh,enough of thanks ready lah...Dah boring arh dgr tu werd...Tt werd and the werd please...mcm dah jelak seh dgr...
To the girl whom i got to know not long ago...Hey gurl,i am truly sorry if i have hurt u in any way..The way you put it,makes me feel so wrong towards you. Though i still ain't sure of what i have been doing to you so far,i still do feel guilty.Guilty for hurting you..I am sincerely sorry...Please dun go thinking that i hate you becos i dun..I do not hate you..I do not find any reason to hate you..If you think that my actions to you shows tt i hate you,lemme tell you tt you are wrong..I do not show my inner true feelings to anyone...Even if i hate somebody,i treat the person the same way i treat everyone else.It's just not me to show the hatred in ma heart to that person.Seriously... I do not hate you gerl..I never had the intentions of hating you oso...Dun misunderstand me ok? Just tt i am soo personally troubled tts all..Sorry if you think that i am neglecting your presence...And please...Dun hold it aginst the other party ok?She's totally innocent...And i do not treat her any different from you...Like i said,i treat everyone the same,of course with the exception of those deep in my heart lah..Tts an exception..But i dunno...It's just tt she's always around when i needed someone to hear me out...She's always there..I dunno how come...Please dun get the wrong idea...Please...Dun blame her ok...Please?!
This song is for everybody whom i have hurt...Especially tt one..You kno who you are...I am SORRY...
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 6:09:00 PM
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Saturday, March 13, 2004
Here in the staff room.It's like near 4am right now. The weather is just perfect. Perfect for me to drench out all my sadness and worries. But i dunno why it all won't come out just yet. What the hell is stopping me?What? Anyways, saw tt idiot at tampines interchange just now. Haiz... What sia... Anyways, bought something for my baby...It's ok lah..Hope my baby will like it. But that's not important lah. What's important is that i hope my baby will just accept the gift as a gift from a STRANGER.It was a very surprising and weird day for me today. Seriusly weird. Things i didn't expect to happen just happened. When i want it to happen, it doesn't and when i do not expect it to happen,it just happens... Weird dun u think? Very very weird..
Anyways, i feel so dead right now. I dunno wad to do anymore.. Things hasn't been going right for me.. It was Angela's birthday yesterday and i totally forgot.. My gawd..How could i just forget mann?Haiz...
Anyway, this camp is such a bore.. Really a bore mann.. It's so boring.. Cadets were not at all lively..Haha! Got pissed at all the bloody faces. Fancy showingg me fucked up attitude in uniform...Fun isn't it? Argh!!!! Pissed mann...But never mind.. I'm tryna be nice by controlling my temper.. Haiz..
I dunno why i'm so sad ya know.. I really dunno why..Ouh,btw,nadirah..Hope u really didn't get it wrong when you saw me with YOUR frens... Dun mind us yah..We really wanted to surprise ya,but guess it ain't working out. And yah, thank your mum for treating us to pizza hut. And one more thing, hope you didn't mind it when me and your mum sms-ed each other. Well,it's basically about the surprise lah. What else.Surprise yang tak menjadi.. Too bad... Dun get it wrong yah. Just dun be mad or wad lah...Seriously...Dun be...ARGH! Dunno wad i wanna say ready.. So much i wanna say but so little come out. Sianz..
~**For You are the reason i chose to live,And now i am the reason for wanting to leave.**~
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 4:19:00 AM
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Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Okiez...We're gonna get even tonight...We will look for you...We will wait...Wait for you all...We will...You people messed around with the wrong person...You don't even know who i am and where i was from...You wanna mess around with me..Ah...Ni BADRIAH....The name that goes from one mouth to the other for all the good acting tt has been put up. You people think you fucking know me??No..u're wrong..You don't even know with whom i hang around...You people are fools...Isn't the whacking you gave me the other day enough??I don't think so..Happy going around hitting me from the back just because i found out where you are from?Tts why people daren't mess around with me.I always happen to find things out in one way or another. So,you people think you people are smart?Lemme tell you tt you people are a bunch of COWARDS...Cos you people hit me from the back all three times...It ain't funny no more..THREE times...Over my limits already...Why the fuck you people have to include woodlands girls in this?You think i do not know??Damn you people..I have contacts all around singapore..And those bitches are what??Working at Causeway Point?Fuck you people...You people dunno me,and tonight is going to be a night you will never forget..The night where you people get to know who the real me is...You people will then realise not to mess around with someone like me...Tts why i always say,
...If you think that i am what you think i am,THINK AGAIN!!...
To my budak²,thanks ya'll..I owe it to you all...I had to look for ya'll arh..I noe..I noe...I shudn't have left ,but i had no choice...Bout wad ya'll asked me..Well,i'll reconsider aight? I just have to think arh...Seriously...I dunno arh...I'm dunno arh...I really look down to myself for having to find ya'll arh...But please...Gimme time...Prolly a week or so?Can??Haiz....
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 8:33:00 PM
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Monday, March 08, 2004
I feel like crying to the song..ARGH!!! It's soo sad..Haiz...If only she'll listen to this song,it's for her,but i doubt so..She wouldn't even care..
Anyway,i lost weight again sia..And my mum is like making a big fuss about it... What sia.. Anywayz,had mc today but still have to go to school for the pathetic test...If not,i wouldn't have gone to school..This is lame mann..But anyhow,the test was rather easy..Quite straight forward for a person like me who didn't bother to look up the notes... I really can't be bothered..It's a pathetic subject anyway..Screw up the presentation oso...So,heck care arh..
A love was never meant to be...Haiz...I will leave,if tt'll please u...U noe i mean wad i say,so,we'll just wait and see...
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 8:27:00 PM
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Friday, March 05, 2004
Seusia malam ku menantimu,
dihembus embun aku tesipu.
Mungkinkah kau lupa temu janji kita,
kau gembira bersama teman-temanmu.
Berlari-lari ku mencari mu,
selembut salju musim berlalu.
Mengapa berubah sekelip mata,
hatiku gundah tiada terhingga..
chorus:
kau umpama merpati putih,
patah sayapnya,
di udara..
ulang chorus 2x
berbahaya..
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 9:10:00 AM
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Thursday, March 04, 2004
Jauh jarak yang kutempuh
Untuk dapat bertemu
Engkau yang selama ini
Hadir didalam mimpi
Menjelang pagi
Namun apa yang terjadi
Sungguh aku tak mengerti
Harapanku yang kubawa
Hilanglah seketika, entah kemana
( reff )
Senyummu yang selama ini
Hadir didalam angan dan khayalku
Manis teduh menyejukkan jiwaku
Kala ku dalam rindu
Ternyata yang kudapatkan
Kenyataan pahit yang menyakitkan
Dirimu tak seperti yang kukira
Engkau telah berdua
Kiniku pulang kembali
Dengan luka dihati
Apa yang ku miliki
Hanya sebatas mimpi
Mimpi tak pasti
~**For You are the reason i chose to live,And now i am the reason for wanting to leave.**~
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 7:36:00 PM
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My dearest ziza...I know u are feeling damn down right now...I've read what u asked me to.Sorry i didn't read it yesterday when i was online..I was damn busy yesterday completing things i haven't completed..Aniway,chill down lah darling..Life is not easy to lead u knoe...There are ups and downs...One minute u own the people u love,the next minute they are gone like the wind.I do know how u feel cos tts wad happened to me..See,the world is sooo upside down rite now...For me at least lah..But i guess both u n me are in the same boat..I know it sucks living life like this,but gerl a great life is waiting for u..Not now,but later you'll experience tt great life..Be patient and have courage to face the life now...People oways tell me tt tears won't bring anywhere...People oways tell me not to waste my tears on people who has left for good..Buti will not say that to you..I wun..cos i know tt i am still 'wasting' my tears...I know it's hard to stop those tears from rolling down your cheeks..I know how u feel my dear...It's hard to accept losing someone who is soo dear to u in a second...It is VERY hard...You've had GREAT moments with tt person...Had GREAT memories with tt person..Had EVERYTHING you wanted with tt person...Therefore it is hard to let go..Especially when you've given all your heart to tt person...My heart broke over and over again and nobody knows..My heart is now in tiny pieces..Very very fine pieces..All i hope now is not to lose any of tt tiny piece so tt eventually my heart would be able to fix back...Time would be a matter now....It'll take a VERY long time....All i can say to you now is what i had said to you a few days back...Take tinx one step at a time..Dun jump a step or you might eventually fall...I fell many times cos i tried to be a hero...Now you see how much i failed in life?In my own life...I have failed...And my dear,if you think nobody cares for you,lemme tell you tt you are wrong...There are many who cares for you..You wouldn't notice tt cos all u want is for the one you love to return and care for you...I noe,but PLEASE do remember tt in one way or another i CARE for you..I care for my fellow cadets...My junior somemore..I may not be more than a fren to u, but i do care for my frens..Actually i'm still wondering why you told me all tt when i am nothing than just a fren to u...Well,again i will remind you that there are many people who cares for you...Dun give up ok?You are still strong..Very strong..I know you're strong...
Biarkanlah saja diriku sendirian tanpamu
Biarkanlah aku merindu sekian lama
Bukan maksud untuk membisu sepi tanpa kata
Terpisahnya kita kerana mengejar impian
( korus )
Mungkinkah bersama dua jiwa ini
Dalam mencari cinta sejati
Mungkinkah segala derita di jiwa
Akan terabat kini
Biarkanlah saja diriku sepi tanpa kata
Terpisahnya kita kerana mengejar impian
( bridge )
Hanya satu pintaku
Sabarlah menanti
Ku kan pulang bersama
Cinta...
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 7:33:00 PM
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Wednesday, March 03, 2004
There's so much i wanna say but it just ain't coming out..Chatting to dunno who right now...Lame rite?It's like he suddenly appeared in my contact list..someone known as Mizi...my gawd..Now he making such a big fuss about not tellin him i was a malay right from the start cos he said he very shy wanna speak in english..But u just did didn't u??Pe je...Well,dunno wer he got my email address from..Hahaha!He's like from the west sia...hmm....
Nadirah, well,u noe i'll do wateva it takes to convince her tt it wasn't you...I know it wasn't you and i will prove it to her...Dun worry,i won't go to the extent of fighting with her...C'monlah..my primary scul fren since primary 1 ok...I'll settle it in a nice way...u dun worry..i'm sorry to have told u tt arh...i really am arh..I noe it hurt u alot..so now,i've hurt u alot...Haiz...
'hang in der'...i am hanging..hanging upside down...Well,i think the way i was at tt point of time...But since u said awhile,then i'l disappear awhile oso lah...Well,i dun want my presence to make things worse for you...Tts all...And i know you're avoiding me now..Well,u noe i dun like troubling people to avoid me..You dun have to do tt..I'll ensure u dun see me ard...So,u dun trouble urself avoiding me...
Hajar,well...sad to say it wasn't a joke all along..No,i dun wanna leave u oso..I dun..But just pray tt the transfer approves...Haiz...i dunno wad to do with my life already..it sucks u noe...I feel miserable sia...realli miserable...First i lost her, m i gonna lose u too?Haiz...M i losing everyone now?Why now?Haiz...this is the cycle of my life...One minute everybody i love is gone,the next they are back..Haiz....Please tell me u're not joining them to leave..Please tel me tt...But if u too wanna leave,well..Haiz...I ain't stopping...
' i gt no rights to tell u wad u shuld do'...dun u ever say tt to me again...u r my sista aren't you??You have your rights... Antara nak dengan tak nak ajer...Btw,about hurting me the other day,well..it ain't your fault..I duno why i just blew up..I really dun..Sorry i never was there for you when u were in need...you are not cruel ok..It was me,me and me..Noone else to be blamed ok...It was me all along....
Aishah,tanx for wanting to help me in my NMM..seriously i am totally lost..Lost in everything...Ntah asal..Pkran nie terganggu til i forgot all i had learnt...Was still surprised tt i passed both my BA2 and NMM pae term test..Well,i see ya ard..Aku nie pat cc arh...Aku tau aku on mc,but aku nk abiskan akunye UIR dulu aru aku alek,makan ubat and tido...Then bangun lagi and g skolah to meet kau plak..Aku abiskan aku nye UIR pas tu nanti aku g skolah tinggal lagi satu beban ajer..Ko tak kisah kan??Hope u dun mind...Tanx again darling..hahaha!
Nadiah,sorry arh..tadi pagi aku dah telantar atas katil arh...Sorry tau..But aku dah suruh gillian pass kan pat kau..Jgn marah ye kak...I dunno why i'm spekaing in malay here..Haha!Im going BONKERS!!!
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 12:21:00 PM
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Monday, March 01, 2004
Selalu ku mengharapkan
Kau akan segera pulang
Kau balik seperti dulu
Menghapuskan rindu
Yang sering menghantuiku
Semenjak kau datang
Di hatiku sayang
Semua resahku hilang
Diriku bukanlah
Seorang yang mudah
Menyerahkan cinta semudah kata
Kudambakan cinta
Indah seperti dulu
Kerna cintaku tak pernah rasa jemu
Biar hati bimbang
Aku terus menunggu
Benar ku tahu kau tak pernah jauh
Kau di hatiku
Di hari yang datang
Janganlah kau ulang
Lukai hatiku sayang
Aku pun bukanlah
Seorang yang bisa
Menggantikan cinta sekelip mata
Aku inginkan cinta
Kita seperti dulu
Kerna cintaku tak mudah rasa jemu
Biar hati bimbang
Aku terus menunggu
Dan aku tahu kau tak pernah jauh
Kau di hatiku
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 8:32:00 PM
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Alone i sit,as the sun settles down and the moon takes its place.The stars began to shine and the clouds turn dark...I look up and began to cry...I look to my left,i look to my right,i look left again and then right again,but u were not there...Only then to realise tt you will never be in my captivity again. Is this true or am i just dreaming?But somehow rather these tears are still rolling...What is happening in my life? How come i didn't find you again? Isit because u are leading a happier life? If so,why aren't you giving me a sign? All day long i wait...I wait..And i wait...And i will continue waiting until you give me a sign...
I remembered those times we had..Those moments we shared..A moment of leisure,a moment of fun...By the beach tt we didn't slept...By the mall,tt we wud just walk in circles...Haagen daaz ice-cream...At the chalet tt i refused to eat...At the supermarket tt i surprised you with a gift...At the pizza hut tt ur mumgave me a treat..At the hospital for ur check ups..At the hospital after ur operation..All those times i would remember and bring it to my grave...Never did u noe tt some of those events actually clashed with some of my other events...Never did u know tt i had dragged some of my other appointments to get those moments with you..But i didn't regret what i had done to my other meeting pals cos i knew i would have a great time with you and i did..November 8,i got an email from you telling me to return to u..I did...But come to think of it now,will u do tt again?Nw tt ur love has faded away... I also do remember the sad times...Especially the time where we didn't get to spend time together on the day we want..It sure is a sad thing...Worse still on hari raya...If only we could turn back time..If only i could read your REAL decision..IF only...But it ain't gonna happen..
...noone wud wana be at d bottom of deir luv ones......
wads d use of bein sad wen u gt sum1 2 luv u ready You said it...Now i am reflecting all these back at you...
As the days go by,my heart no longer beats like how it was each time my eyes met yours...Instead,it beats slower and slower as if waiting for the time to go...I dunno but didn't i used to tell you tt you were the reason tt i found to live?But now tt you're gone,i do not know how else i should live..Move on?Did u ever know tt it is not easy to move on just like tt when you lost someone who is sooo dear to u?Haiz...
Oh, bila kusadari saat-saat dulu
Dan ku mengerti semua maksud untukku
Tinggallah sesal yang kurasakan kini
Semua takkan terjadi
Maafkanlah, memang semua
kesalahan dariku
Dan kini semua terjadi
Sesal yang berakhir
Jangan pernah ada kata darimu
Jangan pernah ada kata berpisah
Mungkin memang semua salah dariku
Namun ku tak mampu untuk berpisah darimu
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 8:31:00 PM
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