Monday, July 26, 2004
It's been some time... Some time since i last updated this. Somehow missed saying what i have to say here. Hmm.. So much has happened. I am very very confused about this life of mine.
So far, i've changed my perspective on some people. She isn't what i thought she was. No! I didn't judge her by her looks or what-so-ever. It's just something that she has done that piss me off.. But then,she proved me wrong.. At least for now.. Dunno if she really isn't what i thot she was or what uh.. It's hard to tell..
Saturday,had NCC meeting at HQ. Went down to school before tt. Met aishah,but ran into zaima and idah before tt.. Took copy card from aishah.. The weather was damn nice,tt i had to drag myself out of ma bed..On the way, saw farah. Joined the q with her.. Hehe! As we were on our way to school,sorta get to know more about her.. Interesting u know.. I have always liked getting to know more of people whom i already know or just got to know.. Parted at the bus stop.. Walked in alone and i feel soo awkward. Was in my uniform,tts why. Thank god i put on a sweater. It feels abit better lah. After taking the copy card,i went to HQ. Met this sec 1 Bedok Town gerl on the bus. I dun quite know her name. So yeah... We chatted... Haha! Yeah,i chatted to her without knowing her name..
Alighted the bus and parted ways with her,and then came my 'ex-husband'.. I knew i was late,but he dun seem to stop his conversation. Haiz.. By the time i left him, my bus left.. And so there i was waiting for the bus alone. Ten minutes felt like 30 minutes i tell you. Dunno why it felt soo long.. Bus came and there i was on the way to HQ. 10.35,Sophia called and said that she was already at the gate and i was like "Shit...I'm late"... Nth new actually. Arrived at HQ at 11. Actually neat 11. Everyone was there and their eyes were on me as i entered. Hehe! Meeting ended around 12. Went down to log branch to collect my name tag. Then,i left. Dunno why i didn't wait for the others. Usually,we'd wait for one another. But this time round,i didn't feel like waiting for anyone. At the junction outside HQ, i was approached by Faiz.. So,we walked to YCK int,i changed and we took the bus to Tamp.
I was there near 2 and aishah hasn't arrived. So i went to the toilet... And tt was where i lost my EzLink together with my NCC pass. DIE! Have not reported about anything yet. Didn't have the time to do it yet. Dunno what's wrong with me.. I kept losing things.. Kept forgetting things...Haiz... WERDUP BUDD!!!! I dunno. So,went to mkn with idah and aishah. Then we walked around. Saw SOOOOO many people... From mus, to liyanah, to the NCC group, to LiTing, to this bedok town guy and then to nad and farah... Yeah... Kinda frustrated though..Not tt i dun wanna talk to them,but it just ain't the rite time.. Lost all my mood...
After tt,i went to kak fizah's chalet.. Gave her a bdae gift and she was shocked..
Sunday was tiring.. I got backache sia.. For bending down too much... Damn... The the usual headache when i squat down for too long... Haiz.... And yes,running nose and ouch...My chest hurts AGAIN...Haizz.... Werdup mann...
Anyhow,everybody seem sick today and so not themselves... What telah happen to everyone? I dunno...
To nuraz.. I read ur blog? Did u say tt ur mum nagged at u for 15 minits and asked u to stop smoking? What the hell ya up to? You owe me an explanation now... And i mean an explanation...!
Should i still declare u as someone special to me? After what you've put me through.. After what you've done to me??? I want to,but my heart dun want to..What do i do? For the first time ever,i declared you as only a fren to someone who asked me abt you. I no longer know a thing about you. How can i tell ppl u're special to me when i know nothing about u? I dun even know why this mouth of mine said tt u r my fren... Haiz... Im disappointed in myself for no longer knowing who you are....
~**For You are the reason i chose to live,And now i am the reason for wanting to leave.**~
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 1:26:00 PM
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Tuesday, July 13, 2004
All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairy tale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay I don't feel safe
I don't feel safe..
Ohhh..
[V1]
Left broken empty in despair
Wanna breath can't find air
Thought you were sent from up above
But you and me never had love
So much more I have to say
Help me find a way
[CHORUS]
And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone
I tell ya..
All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay I don't feel safe
I need to pray
Why do you play me like a game?
Always someone else to blame
Careless, helpless little man
Someday you might understand
There's not much more to say
But I hope you find a way
[CHORUS 2]
Still I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone
I tell ya..
All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay I don't feel safe
I need to pray
Ohhh. Pray...
Ohh.. Heavenly father..
Save me.. Ohhhh..
Whoaooooaoooooo
[CHORUS 3]
And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone
[OUTRO]
All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay I don't feel safe
I need to pray...
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 4:51:00 PM
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Monday, July 12, 2004
Ok...It's been a month since i updated this thang...Well,partly busy with school...But on the whole,i was just lazy to update... I no longer know what to say... I lost my werds already...Anyhow,school was ok...It's a bore as usual..Nth new about tt. Timetable sucks... Yeah..It really does... I start school at 9 all the way to 8 today. Sickening dun u think? Tml is another long day. I start at 9 all the way to 7. But wednesday is the best, 11-12.By right it should be till 3,but i managed to switch lecture groups.Nw tt one will depend on my mood. If i dun feel like going for the lecture then i won't come to school. Thursday is 9-11. And Friday is 9-4. There goes my timetable.
As for today,i skipped lecture..POM...It's a bore.. With nadiah in the lab now.. We both decided to skip lecture cos we were lazy... "www.malas.com" .Tt explains it all. We were both lazy.. One of the monday blues i must say.
Lemme recall how my life was the past few weeks..Lemme keep it short,simple and sweet k? It was disastrous... Yes! Very terrible for me.. I lost some people,i lost myself,i lost my mood,i lost my appetite n etc... Well,there were happy moments i must say,but it was temporary. Cos a broken heart is never able to heal so quickly and easily... Haiz...
Anyhow,got lotsa assignments due this week and i haven't done them... Gosh...Macam nak berhenti skolah gitu... Calculus is a pain in my ass... The teacher made it worst...Haiz...
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 12:55:00 PM
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