Friday, September 17, 2004

Heylo readers of my blog... Ahakz!
Yes! Assignment for ordb is finally over..Now up for the last assignment, tt is my cds assignment... Supposed to write a 3 page long report and i haven't done anything.. It is due on monday anyway,so it's ok... Been terribly busy lately... Stayed up in school and all uh... My mind was as messy as the erd tt my group and i had done for ordb.. And now tt it's over,the mess is still in my mind,but i'm trying to put the mess away slowly..

To my dear nadirah,sorry lah yesterday i wasn't of much help for ur english compo thingie... Was really busy trynna complete my project before the lab closes... So,didn't quite have the time to entertain u.. So sorry yah..

Ok,this is for kadir and yazid... First thing first,its such a coincidence tt the two of u raised the question on the same day.. And until now,i haven't said anything yet... It's not tt i dun like ya'll... I like both of u.. I really do.. Both of u are kind,thoughtful and caring.. And not to forget humorous... You guys can really make my day... You guys can really make me laugh my wits out... Nice to get to know ya'll... But thing is,i have to make a decision between the both of u.. And how can i do so if i like both of u? So far,i have only treated ya'll as friends and not more than tt... I dun even have the thoughts of treating ya'll more than just a fren... Well,maybe after ya'll raised the question then i start thinking and after much thinking,i just wanna say tt i'm sorry..I really am... It's hard for me to say no cos i dun quite know how to do tt... But i am forcing myself..I really am... I'm not prepared to commit myself in any relationship. To make it short,i'm not prepared to fall in love cos my heart is still broken.. And i can't bare to see it break again... I really can't..I'm so sorry and i hope ya'll understand and maybe we can still be friends... Close friends perhaps... Jodoh tu di tangan tuhan... So if one day i'm prepared then we'll see how things goes by then.... I'm so sorry once again..

Anyway,life is really torturous for me.. Having to see cat fights nearly everyday... Tt means i go out every nite cos i dun wanna see any cat fight... I'm sicka and tired of seeing all tt... I really am..Haitz... Been sick and yada yada yada.. Shall not elaborate on tt... Gosh,im supposed to be preparing for my ebm presentation later...So till then...Ciaoz....

crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 11:25:00 AM

L K J

Monday, September 13, 2004

After long absence,i am finally here to update this thang after being told by people who are bored hopping to my blog only to realise that i had abandoned this thang..

It hurts so bad when the one whom you used to love and still do thinks that you no longer love the person...It's worst when they dun believe what you tell them... Ok..here goes..This is goin out to tt someone who tagged me but refuse to tell me who the person is. This i wanna tell you.. Why are you doing this to me? I think i know who you are,but my assumptions can be wrong. If u are who i think u r,read this..If u r not who i think u r,ignore this part... Please dun get it wrong about my msg the other day. It's not that i hate you and dun wanna be there for u anymore.. It's just tt i hate it when u do tt... Hate it when u did what u did... I have so far endured what u did,but it's just tt u didn't spare a thought for me. Despite the many years we've known each other,looks like u still do not know what kinda person i am. I hate it sooo much when people stop their sentences half way and u ALWAYS do tt. So far,i kept quiet about it and went with your ways. But this time round,i can't do it.. I was pressurised tooo much and you took the next step on ur own accord. I just wonder why isit you didn't spare a single thought for how i felt...For how i was really feeling. Why? If you think that u are hurting me,lemme tell you that u are with the way u treat me... The way u go about trynna put up with everyone.. Why isit you can't be urself? Why must you be someone else? Please... Try and change and be your true self and everybody will love u.

Anyhow, lately i've been very stressed up.... Projects and assignments and bla bla bla... Besides that,i have my own personal problems.. I dun get it why people get sooo mad over such small matters... And cos of tt, the bond created long ago shook leaving me stranded having to cope with all 3 parties... Haiz... Talked to someone out about this uh and tt person managed to cheer me up... But only for that point in time.. Lately,i been staying out late... Till the middle of the night... I didn't feel like going home after all that has happened.. Too much has happened... Too much for me.. Feel like giving up,but someone told me not to do so easily... HAITZ... What a life... I ain't getting anywhere further although things happened quite some time ago... Haiz....

Gosh...exams is in a few weeks time and i am not at all prepared for anything.. Hmm.. Anyhow,yesterday went over to my aunty's place after ugama.. Oooo... i met nina and i could hardly recognise her.. Saw her outside the mosque.. I saw someone smiling and i smiled and in my mind was like " who the heck is tt?" And i think she saw the blank look on my face,then she shouted out her name,only then i was like "Now i knoe where i met her". Ahakz! Spent alot of time at my aunt's place... Help my cousin shop for engagement clothes..And adha sms-ed me... Surprised though.. And trus i told him to message his beloved sister.. Ahakz...BACK TO MY STORY.. My cousin's getting engaged on the 27/11/04...The clothes is damn nice i tell u... Then she insisted on getting my baju raya for me too.. I was like "Woo...It's still early..". Then abg Is was like, we must grab this opportunity as they'll jack the price up once it enters the fasting month.. And my cousin saw this nice baju which cost like $390.. Wow! Wait a min,tts a lil' too high.. The she told me tt she can get a $200 diskaun,but still,after deducting,it still costs wow.... I didn't want but my cousin, her fiancee and her mum insisted.. And they grabbed the shirt and pushed me into the fitting room.. Haha! But it's nice afterall...

After that,we went to eat at Mak's Place at kembangan tt side... All in all there were 9 people... Including my uncle and my cousins too... One of the days wer we have a rare gathering... It's really hard for us to gather like tt.. The whole lot of us some more... Including my abg sdara's wife,kak ismah and abg is,whois btw, my cousin's fiancee... We chat and laughed and they were complaining on how stressed up i looked like... Gosh.. Didn't expect my face to show it all.. Ouh yes,now i remember who abg is talk like.. He talks like osman.... Yes,osman..My cds mate... Every single word sia... When he was talking, i knew he talked like someone and couldn't remember who..Now then i remember.... Ahakz... Anyhow,im saposed to be doin mafit...so i take my leave...hAHA! Before nad starts screaming at me....

crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 11:44:00 AM

L K J