Monday, April 12, 2004
Heylo...It's been quite long since i last updated this thing properly.
First thing first.
First, i dunno wat to do with my life anymore. Second, i dunno what to do with my life anymore.And third,i dunno wad to do with my life anymore. Amazing isn't it?It's all the same thing. So,the whole thing is, i dunno wad to do with my life anymore. Seriously,I always thought that this life is a blessing for me. No matter how bad and wrong things go, i would still tell myself that life is still a blessing. But now, it all seemed different. i tried telling myself that life is a blessing, but my mind no longer accept that.
I have been made a fool. Made a nuisance. i was being played around with and worse still,my feelings were being toyed around with. my feelings was being thrown around like a piece of rubbish. Does tt mean tt i am also a rubbish? I wonder... Why do people have to take me for granted huh? I did all i could, sacrifice all i had to make ppl happy and pleased,and this is what i get in return? No wonder ppl always say that life's unfair. And i keep telling them that life is always fair. But now i realise that it never was and never would be. I have been keeping quiet all this while. Havent been voicing out the pain within me. I now hate looking at myself in the mirror. i would no longer see myself. I only see a liar there. And that liar is my reflection which means its me. I see the eyes of a liar. I see the smile of a liar. One who hides the real tears behind that fake smile. So,u see now? Im a big liar. Been lying to myself all this while and nobody knows it but me. I hate ppl lying to me, yet i am doin that to myself. What is wrong with u budd? Fancy lying to yourself when u dun like others doin it. Haiz....
To all those people toying around with my feelings,i advice you to stop wadeva u r doing. Cos this time around, budd is no longer gonna tolerate any shit from anybody. Actually,i just say tt,but dunno if i can really not tolerate anything. We'll see abt tt. Hmm... But seriously,im not mad at the people who are toying around with my feelings..Im just mad at myself for allowing all this to happen..Haiz...Why did i let it happen to me huh?
For tt gurl..U take me as a big sis huh?Hmm..i know...Look,to be honest,i still am mad,but i kept it on the low. I dun want u to know...I dun blame u for it..Dun worry,i aint holding grudges against u. Just tt, the madness still lie within me...
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 9:40:00 AM
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Wednesday, April 07, 2004
I AM SMILING ON THE OUTSIDE
THE PART THAT PEOPLE SEE
BUT INSIDE I AM CRYING
FOR US, FOR YOU, FOR ME.
MY TEARS COULD FILL AN OCEAN
THEY COULD FILL THE SEA
BUT NEARLY ALL ARE HIDDEN
SO THAT YOU CANNOT SEE.
YOU THINK I AM HAPPY
THAT EVERYTHING IS OKAY
I DON'T THINK I CAN CONTINUE
HURTING, FEELING THIS WAY.
I WISH WE COULD TURN THE CLOCK BACK
WE NEED TO START AGAIN
SOMETHING MUST BE DONE SOON
TO TAKE AWAY THIS PAIN.
WHY IS ALL THIS HAPPENING?
I DON'T DESERVE THE PAIN
I TRIED TO TALK, YOU WON'T LISTEN
NOT ONCE, BUT TIME AND TIME AGAIN.
YOU TAKE MY LOVE FOR GRANTED
AND THINK I'LL ALWAYS STAY
BUT THE WAY I AM FEELING
I WANT TO RUN AWAY.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'D GO TO
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO
COULD I REALLY FACE
A NEW LIFE WITHOUT YOU?
SO, I'LL STAY AND TAKE THE SADNESS
THE HEARTBREAK AND THE PAIN
AND PRAY ONE DAY YOU'LL LISTEN
AND MAKE ME HAPPY AGAIN.
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 5:36:00 PM
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Monday, April 05, 2004
I never asked for the sunshine
I never wanted the rain
I didn't ask for these feelings
And I never wanted this pain
I never asked for forever
I never wanted your lies
I never asked to be left with
These heart-wrenching cries
I didn't ask for the moon
I never wanted the air
I never asked you to love me
I never asked you to care
I never wanted to love you
I never wanted to fall
I never wanted to succumb
And give to you my all
I didn't ask for the world
Or for the heavens above
I never asked you for something
But I always longed for your love.
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 7:36:00 PM
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I am totally lost..Lost in my own world...I can't find my way around...I can't find the map of my own world..It must've been blown away together with the broken pieces of my heart...Why isit soo difficult for people to just let me be who i am?Why? I know i've changed in many ways,but have you ever wondered why?Haiz...
For someone there,i do not know if i should trust you anymore...My heart can't take this shit anymore...I trusted you, and you broke it...Why are you doing this to me? Why are you breaking my trust just like tt? Do u think it's easy for me to put my trust on somebody? Wad fuck mann...Tts why i hate trusting people...I hate doing tt cos i'll never know if i can really trust tt person...Haiz...
To that other someone,well...Why are you saying thanks to me for? Seriously..About what i had said,well,if u feel tt some of my description goes out to u,well..I dunno..You know i wouldn't say it out anyway....U just take care and have a great life ahead..Remember wad i told u yesterday and when can u temporarily return my ring?Haiz....
A soulless soul lay before everybody,
putting up an act every now and then.
But nobody knows what she goes through,
and how her world came to an end.
crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 7:03:00 PM
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