Thursday, July 26, 2007

past few mths was hell...tts all i got to say...

Cig price has gone up and so has my smoking..i can like finish more than a pack a day....*smacks forehead*..No wonder i keep falling sick...but wad the heck..i dun give a damn abt my life anymore mann...

I been giving yan the cold shoulder..there are many things i realised abt yan along the way...i cant go on anymore this way..how do i tell it to u???

Been out with naz,nazeer and mail alot of late...almost everyday meeting up and i'll be back til late..cos i cant be bothered at home anymore..but i'd call mum and check on things though...cant leave my mum alone..and know wad???I MISS MY MUM...although i'm home now...

Mail said sth shocking to me tt day..I dint see it coming u know...I really dint...Although naz had already told me before hand..it totally slipped my mind tt period of time..wad u think naz??? And i can see u all smiling these days...Are u ever goin to tel nazeer about tupai babe?I duno...

Ouh yeah..i forgot...the past few days been meeting up with sec sch mates...either coinceidentally or planned...mostly is by coincidence..cos now they know mail...see mail, will call me..then turn and see naz and nazeer there too...

To someone...if u r disappointed with me since then, y did u allow me to return after tt???were u sincere or not in tt period of time? I duno..I really don't..I'm really sorry to hear abt wad's been goin on in ur life now.. I so much want to intefere, but i have no rights now..I am nothing to u now am i?? Well, wad can i do then although it hurts me seeing u the way u r...it still does...but wad can i do???there's nth i can do..u threw me away..although i'm still where u threw me, i doubt u will pick this rubbish up again right? U have always considered me as a nuisance in ur life since tt day right?but y can't u just tel me the truth?at least it wouldn't hurt tt much if u had told me..rather than me finding out on my own...I had always thought u'd be happier..and i have and will always pray for ur happiness...it's up to u whether u stil believe my words or not...in case u dun noe..i will still be here to listen to u if u need someone...i have always been here..the exact same place where u had thrown me away...

crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 3:33:00 AM

L K J

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

time check is 0405hrs and i am here at naz's crib doin nth...just ate durian and there she is just behind me reading every single word as i type them out..Also not forgetting her giggling herself away...And yeah...did i mention tt she look freaking hot in the butterfly outfit???Haha! there, as requested by u...haha!

Anyway, off today, however, was called back to return to work cos of the stupid MPR...Have some proforma to do which, when i enquired, noone has done before..so i have to really be independent to figure out how to fill up the proforma...Zengs...

Met naz at her workplace at 2145hrs, ard there la...haha! then off we went to meet nazeer and mail at blk 42 chai chee..slacked awhile...then this liana called me asking me go q branch and meet her..and this yat is like forcing me cos he claim tt it's liana's last day...yeah, i mentioned in the previous posts tt she's leaving the force...Then...zoom, i met them there..chilled there until i got 'shoo' (word came from shahnaz) by robocop..lucky i finish washing my car ready..

called naz and haha! we met again..! ate durian, which i cant consume too much..sad, but true..me n naz are totally crazy today...first when we first met we suddenly became very hyper and talkative and nt forgetting rude to each other...sorry la babe..i'm sure u're reading this now as i type it out..haha! and yeah, when i met her the 2nd time we were like talking on the phone all the way until we nearly finished smoking..and we were actually smoking next to each other la eh...haha!

Ok, now i dunno wad else to say already...haha!bye!

crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 4:05:00 AM

L K J

Monday, July 16, 2007

well...night shift yestd..and was the in charge..first time...i duno how to describe how i felt mann...anyway, left work at 0845hrs and drove back feeling blank..the brain shut down already mann..reached home abt 0900hrs..bathe and sat and stared at the comp..sis was getting ready and so was bro, dad and mum..i somehow couldn't care less where they had wanted to go..i dint even ask mann..guess i was just too tired...i dint get to sleep at work...

Anyway,i finally fell asleep at abt 1300hrs while sms-ing nora and 'arguing' abt how heavy we weigh and comparing..she's getting married on the 29th btw...but i might not be able to go..it's my mrng shift mann..how to go seh...and hakim all asking me throw mc or sth so tt i can go...wad mann..i consider ok?haha!

And so i got up at 1730hrs...wanted to go back to sleep, then i realised my phone has died on me...and suddenly this sister of mine actually left me a voicemail..took my charger, charged the phone and then laze ard on the bed..called naz,as per norm..she's out with her sec sch frens..so i decided to laze ard somemore...few minutes later she called back..forced me out of bed and go meet her..okla..give face..

Picked her up at tamp with her frens then off to ecp..intended to eat there, but when we saw the condition there, decided to make a detour...so, off we went to Mak's place where i saw liana's bf...Saw him from far, told Mail, who then told me that he was looking at me..I just ignored and tried my best not to look into his direction..He must've recognised me after the incident he fought with liana and made liana cry so much..such an idiot...(no offence to liana)...Liana also told me to ignore him cos Liana told me that he had wanted to call me or confront me or sth like tt la..but i can't be bothered at all..

So, took a seat afterwhich was joined in by Nazeer, Muk and Mus...towards the end, one by one showed attitude,so i cant b bothered..I just lazy to say or do anything,also given the fact tt i was still tired..When wanted to part ways also all show attitude..I dint wana say much cos it's shahnaz's friends mann..i n Mail just kept quiet only..and so left me, naz, mail and nazeer...thot wanted to head home, but suddenly we made a detour to ecp..tts where we all had fun..took so much pix til when we wanted to send them we discovered there was abt 75 pix...wow! haha!

Apologies to Shahida..had to turn down ur movie offer..sorry beb...next time ok...I just reach ecp when u called sia..u should've called me earlier...OOOOOO...before i forget..saw nora's family at Mak's place..haha! and aishah was there too..She seems to be glowing now tt she's engaged..talked to her awhile...chat here and there, then she left with her fiance and fai was smiling away when both naz and me were disturbing aishah..wad la u fai..haha! paiseh ke..? haha!

I typed typed and typed and realise this is too long already..haha! ok la...bubbye..and yes, i so love this song mann..haha!

crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 2:05:00 AM

L K J

Sunday, July 15, 2007

I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
Coz I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never get the whole in love thing
If someone could say love me truly
But at the time it didn't mean a thing

My mind is gone
I'm spinnin' around
And deep inside
My tears I'll drown
I'm losing grip
What's happening?
I stray from love
This is how I feel

This time was different
Felt like I was just a victim
And they cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm in this condition
And I've got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kissed?
coz its hurting me to let it go
maybe coz we spent so much time
and I know that it's no more
I should have never let u hold me baby
Maybe why I'm so sad to see us apart
I didn't give it to u on purpose
Gotta figure out how u stole my heart

How did I get here with you?
I'll never know
I never meant to let it get so personal
And after all I tried to do
To stay away from love with you
I'm broken-hearted
I can't let you know
And I Won't Let It Show
You won't see me cry

Now I'm in this condition
And I've got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

All my life

crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 11:13:00 AM

L K J

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Hello ppl...In-service today..First half was fine, but then came the second half..My goodness...First of all, i felt very sleepy (after lunch wad), then secondly i got conned by OC Training.. The short run was indeed VERY short..Goodness..And i was like trapped with heat..I had a piece of T-Shirt beneath my in-service shirt..It was freaking hot la..I had to use the t-shirt to make the in-service shirt look like it fit me just nice(although it still looks huge)..But without the t-shirt underneath,it's super duper huge...and it's small size mind u..they apparently do not have xs...

And so after everything, met yan..chilled awhile and off i head to home..Reached home, lie down on the couch and i fell asleep without even changing out of the outfit...Got up, showered and here i am..Feeling tired though...

I'm still in the recovery stage..shouldn't have gone for the run..should've played captain's ball instead mann...!!!! Anyway, went to team c's chalet d other day..and came home at 6 in the morning..Interesting and all of them were like telling me to talk to CO and put me back in the team..And it's not entirely impossible cos Liana is like leaving..I ws shocked when she told me tt day..So, tts the story she has been wanting to tell me..Now i know...

And did i tel u that we had durians the other nite? Funny mann..Liana called me and was like "Budd,durian pe"...No hello,no nothing..and of course, i had to go and buy..5 huge durians were finished by 4 of us...Crazy and the next day at the chalet, this Liana went to buy durians for the team and again we ate..And know wad? the next day my dad bought durians...Goodness..how do i recover then???

Mum has been talking to me and i told her to get things over and done..I think she's really gona do it..please give me the strength...

crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 9:28:00 PM

L K J

Friday, July 06, 2007

This entry is specially to my dearest Jas..It's nt tt I do not want to go and find u...One day u will realise why not today and the past few days...It's not that i wana hide it from you...But how do i even tell u? How do i tel u? Will u believe me or nt? I duno..I'm sure u know why i feel tt way...And yes, 070707...It is a very nice date indeed this year...And this shout is for u...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR JAS...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U......

I know wad day it is for u..I once asked u when ur bdae is and when u told me, I realise it's similar to many of my frens..And one other thing...I'm sure u know i like to play dumb...so,yeah...should explain my actions..very sorry I can't come and meet u...Really, not that I don't want..But i really cant...Have a joyous day ahead of u and it's sad to have to work night shift on ur bdae..haha! This post is definitely out before midnight... but i hope u read it after midnight..haha!

crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 11:33:00 PM

L K J

NPP yesterday...I guess Gulam placed me there knowing tt i m sick..haha! put me at mountbatten...thought can rest, but computers at serai and west was down so they had to call me every now and then to generate a report number..funny ppl...MPR also still pending..I'm like stuck lah..suddenly become so dumb...like duno how to do anything..Closed NPP at 2155hrs..Liana picked me up..Cant possibly wait for Jason cos he has 3 other NPPs to fetch...haha! So, yeah..after she pick me up, had to follow her to attend msg..But since i had nth up i was ok with it..That's for picking me up..Pick me up from NPP more often and i will definitely follow u to msges..haha!

And so reached back and saw the TL...he was like just staring..returned my things and hurriedly went off..Washed up, changed and S.P agreed to go supper with me...off we went to Clarke Quay..Nice place, good food too..Apologies to Mail and Jas...I knocked off quite late yestd...Had a nice supper though..

Before went off there, was talking to katek abt one of our frens...i have no comments on whatever we had discussed yestd mann...Seriously, u should know her uh...Want to approach her and advice her, u know wad kind of person she is..She'll prolly start throwing plates at u on ur wedding day...But seriously, she shouldn't have said wad she did, which is also agreed by the anak arab...heez...

crappypwincess HaD a MoOd sWinG @ 10:59:00 PM

L K J